For the past one year, I have been through a lot for someone
my age and thanks to that, I roughly know what I want from my life and knowing
my true identity, finding myself in the process. I’ve gone through ups and
downs and honestly, I’m just glad it’s all over now. I mean I do have friends, close friends; best
friends and they have been the best I could’ve ever asked for. I was 18-19
years old last year and those are the times where you’re certain of the people
in your life. I was most definitely uncertain.
For me, many come and go. Very few actually came to stay. I realised that I was not asking them to stay;
it was like I gave a truck load of invitation to random people on the streets
to enter my life and not really asking any effort to let them stay or was not
even focusing on that prospect. I wanted that kind of attention, the kind that
says “oh, you know so many people!” etc. It didn’t really occur to me to make
them WANT to stay. But after a while, it
gets tiring and boring; especially when I had to introduce myself over and over
again.
After about 9 months, I got really sick and tired of doing
all that, I cut ties with all of them because I know that it wasn’t worth it.
They aren’t real. It was just my mind making them seem like a family to me. In the
process of cutting ties, half of me didn’t feel like going through with it but
the other half wanted me to end it a.s.a.p. Eventually I did and after doing
that, I felt like a huge burden is lifted from my shoulders. I didn’t even
think of it (or them) as burdens but I swear I felt extremely elated about
having done that. Relieved was also one of them. The first few days or weeks
were hard to deal with. But after some getting used to, I was able to lead a
peaceful life with my best friends, close friends and even family. And through
a mutual friend, was I able to find someone that exceeds my expectation.
Here are some quotes that I live by in this aspect of my life (of course, all from google):
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